these past couple of month ive been away from home the most stressful thing ive come up against it talking to my mum and the first few times i did it it ended with me in tears but this post is about the fact that i called my mum today and it was okay 

my parents are still way disappointed in me for failing first year but i guess the worst has passed

im getting there

two people liked that post and they we’re the exact people that I wanted to see it
you 2 feel me and I love you.

lole whenever people talk about first year of college positively i get kinda bummed out bc i did nothing, fell out of shape, slept with people i didnt like and failed to do anything meaningful

i used to be happy and attractive
ha ha ha h

my first relationship was totally overly romantic my second was horribly aromatic and the third was a weird unhealthy combination of the two id like something normal at this point please

seriously though what if someone felt about me even kind of romantically
its been exactly 800 years since anyone cared about me and is getting to me

i don’t know i feel like i have nothing to offer any of my friends let alone a partner
i feel like my local friends are getting bored of me i feel like i don’t talk to anyone anymore i just joke and make small talk these are totally my issues and i have the power to fix them but it’s so difficult and i don’t know how

wanting a girlfriend is so awful like i don’t want to want a girlfriend but I’m selfish and fuck this

i tried to word this a lot of different ways trying to not sound awful but all i keep coming with is that i would like a girlfriend uuuuuugh i hate it

all my housemates talk about is drugs and it’s completely insufferable
and i don’t have anything against drugs
but they’re so fucking boring